The Husband's thoughts...

We had a fun family day yesterday, but I noticed that Carissa was in deep thought all day. As I played with Kaitlyn at the Jump Zone, we noticed a few pregnancies around and I could tell it was really sinking in:

  • Did she imagine Avery there playing with Kaitlyn?

  • Was she angry about the entire situation?

  • Was she exhausted from counting the days?

  • Was Avery moving around a lot, and she was trying to push it away?

  • Was she just overwhelmed with all of the above?

It is a helpless feeling seeing the cycle of pain, then joy. As a father and husband you want to shelter your family and take away the hurt...It is not that easy! Carissa told me last night that she was tired and ready for this all to end and just get here. My response was that it is not like a difficult test that you are dreading. When it gets here, it will be here for a while, good or bad.
She said when it does, she will probably hope that we can go back to this point- when Avery was happy and well in her womb without a care in the world-It broke my heart! I have decided to celebrate each week like our friends the Mooney's did for baby Elliot. This Friday is 33 weeks and Avery's birthday. Just in case we have to face the inevitable. After
all, she is our daughter right now, and she can hear us, and feel us, and love us. So why not show her we love her back!:)


  1. Shane-

    Carissa is so lucky to have you. She is always singing your praises and her love for you radiates in her words. I have to say, I think I love you too right now. I do not know what I would do without the support of my husband to face what comes our way on our journey with Kaden. Sometimes as the "mommies" we feel the majority of the burden is on us. We try to get thru the days, without breaking down or letting on that at any point we are weak or unsure of our abilities to handle the situation that God has given to us. Carissa, Kaitlyn and Avery are lucky to have you and your love. Never doubt for a minute that Avery knows she is loved already--Never give up hope for your little girl. Miracles happen every day and I, too am expecting one in only 8 days. We are scared to death, and wish the circumstances were very different, but we all have to accept that there are some things that we cannot control. You celebrate every day, every kick, every moment you have with Avery right now and it will only make all of you stronger.

    You all continue to be in our prayers.

  2. You're a great husband, Shane. Such sweet things to say about Carissa and Avery.

    You are right about enjoying the moments you have right now with Avery because no matter what happens...these are some of the sweetest days you guys will ever know.

    Thinking of you guys all the time.


  3. I am praying and will be praying for this time in your lifes. I am in awww of the way that you two are handling everybit of the ups and downs. Keep your faith strong, and know that your family will be by your side. God provides miracles everyday,so cherish your little miracle, as I know you do, Because no matter what, She will be your angel in heaven or on earth.