I'm Panicked

I promise I have tried to post for the past couple days and for one reason or another, I have not been able to do it. There are so many things running through my brain right now, I am not even sure where to begin.

Avery update first. She is still EXTREMELY swollen. This has turned out to be a fairly significant setback. The doctors have tried numerous drugs to help her pee more and she just isn't responding. I am freaking out. She looks absolutely horrible and there is no progress being made. It is really hard for me to see her right now and quiet honestly, I dread walking in her room every morning. I leave feeling disappointed and out of hope. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard and I cannot explain my reasoning for being so depressed about the whole thing. I cry every time I walk out of the room. Due to the swelling, they have stopped her feeds and gone up on all her ventilator settings so that sucks. Now, all that being said, she has some good things happening. Her heart rhythm seems to be under control, she is completely off nitric oxide, and up to this point has been tolerating her feeds really well. I would probably be a lot happier about all the other stuff if I could get my mind off the swelling.

So on to other stuff. Many of you may have read Shane's recent post about his job change. This has been a really good thing for him and the rest of our family. He is working hard but much more relaxed overall and much more available for helping me through all this mess. I love him to death and am so thankful for his constant support. So as a result of all of the complications with Avery, we are in the process of moving so that we can be closer to the hospital. This is a huge undertaking and I am having a hard time working through all the details. First things first, we have got to either sell or rent our home in Fayetteville. Then we need to find a house to rent around here somewhere. So I just want to make a note here (for all you who know me well), that I AM ASKING FOR HELP!! If any of you know of someone who would be interested in renting or buying our house, please contact me either through a comment or email. If anyone knows of an appraiser who could appraise our house, that would be good. Eventually we will need help packing, cleaning, and moving so I will keep you posted on that. If any of you have connections in the Maumelle or Conway area as far as rental homes are concerned, let me know. So far, we have gotten a huge outpouring of help and I although I can't tell you all exactly what we need right now, I can give you an idea that these are some of the things we are dealing with. I don't have an exact timeline for all this stuff, but it would be nice to get the house stuff taken care of ASAP.

Please know that we so appreciate all that everyone is doing for us. We realize that we will never be able to thank you enough and hope to pay it all forward someday. Please please pray that Avery will get over this issue with her swelling...her kidneys are being asked to work much harder than they should so shout out some words of encouragement for them.

Carissa